“Sex Island” could easily be the name of the latest reality show, and who knows, it may become one yet. But for now, it’s an actual vacation “adventure” being offered to just 30 men for its maiden voyage to a private island off of Cartagena, Colombia.
The South American romp will cost you $5,000 (and you’d better hurry because as of this writing, just seven tickets remained available for the November 24 -27 three-night, four-day bacchanalian rendezvous).
Yup, that IS Thanksgiving weekend, and what better way to celebrate the pilgrims and Plymouth Rock than by bedding as many hookers as possible?
Colombian travel packager Good Girls Company has put this, um, unique experience together, in which they promise a two-to-one ratio of super-hot prostitutes to men (60 girls for 30 guys) and a drug-friendly, all-you-can-eat environment that goes from private chartered yacht to lush Caribbean island.
The “all you can eat” bit isn’t really metaphoric: the promotional video for the unusual getaway shows a man actually eating sushi off a horizontally inclined and completely naked woman while a “waitress” (clearly one of the aforementioned pleasuring girls) pours some sauce down his throat.
Let it not be said that Good Girls left anything to the imagination in this promo video. We see bare pert bottoms lined up, maybe six across, just waiting to take care of your every sexual fantasy. And in case you’re wondering how far that could go, the company assures those interested that you need just let them know what floats your boat and your ship will show up.
Included in your vacation are “two girls per day” with “unlimited sex” (switching girls is permitted, they clarify, in case this was a sticking point for you). Oh, and no need to stop at CVS before you leave, because unlimited condoms are available, and a “strict” usage policy will also be enforced, they tell us.
For your $5K, you get all that plus all your “five-star” meals, all the booze you can drink, and drugs (it’s not clear if you have to make contact in Cartagena with your own dealers, of which there are no dearth, or if they will have all the coke you ever dreamed of lined up neatly waiting for you to snort upon your arrival).
You’ll be pleased to know, as modesty is no doubt a concern for the targeted demographic for this vacay, that “each guest has their own bedroom.” And if you’re worried about Colombia’s infamous kidnappings, they assure you that they have a “full staff of security guards across the island” and will “keep you in sight” (so much for that privacy) until you leave.
They also tout maid service daily, and we’re guessing that no will be turned down when they do your evening turndown.
The promotional video shows what looks like your typical Silicon Valley rich-but-slightly-unkempt millennial coming on board the yacht and having an experience that Hugh Hefner himself would have smiled upon.
Of course, there are a few potential snafus involved. One is the possibility for a teensy tiny bit of post-vacation blackmail via any videos that Sofia and Isabella may have taken under the radar. The other is that pimping is illegal in Colombia, even if being a sex worker is not, and Good Girls is certainly acting as the pimp maestro here.
If that doesn’t put you off, you’d best run and not walk to the Good Girls’ website. We’ll be surprised if any tickets remain by the end of this week.
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